I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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