I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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