to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it was like eating out sand paper
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
