Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
