he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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