btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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