That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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