did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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