So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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