I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
