Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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