He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
