I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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