from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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