Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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