just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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