I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Found your dick twin last night
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize