8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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