you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize