Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm like, not good at living.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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