somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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