I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
