I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
