Plan B is the new Plan A
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
