Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
