Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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