the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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