It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
