i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
