girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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