She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
