perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
