is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Randomize
