walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
