Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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