I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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