He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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