fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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