It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize