I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
