We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
