So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
