I'm eating all of the evidence.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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