I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
