Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
