Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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