I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
we should paint friendship bongs
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
