guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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