I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
