Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
