i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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