Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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