Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You are a genius and a whore.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize