so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
