If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
this beer tastes like vomit already
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize