some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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