Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize