Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
