is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
