Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
