i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
