We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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