i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
