forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
